Gleekery: And That's How Sue Cs It

Sue Sylvester. One of my favourite TV characters of all time. You want to hate her don't you but she's just so funny. Gosh, I wish I could come up with some of her put-downs, they're just so crushingly brilliant.

Today I am bored, fed-up and in need of a little entertainment so I thought I'd share with you some of my favourite Sue Sylvester moments. I hope if you're feeling a little under the weather today they might cheer up your Easter Sunday too.

"Sometimes people ask me, "Sue, how come you're so sensitive to minorities?" Well, I'll tell you why. Because I know firsthand how hard it is to struggle as a minority in America today. I'm 1/16th Comanche Indian. In fact, I like minorities so much, I'm thinking of moving to California to become one."

"Glee Club. Every time I try to destroy that clutch of scab-eating mouth-breathers it only comes back stronger like some sexually ambiguous horror movie villain. Here I am, about to turn 30, and I've sacrificed *everything* only to be shanghaied by the bi-curious machinations of a cabal of doughy, misshapen teens."

"Dear Journal, Feeling listless again today. It began at dawn, when I tried to make a smoothie out of beef bones, breaking my juicer. And then at Cheerios practice, disaster. It was unmistakable. It was like spotting the first spark on the Hindenburg. A quiver. That quiver will lose us Nationals. Without a championship, I'll lose my endorsements, and without those endorsements, I won't be able to buy my hovercraft."

"I think you should both pack up and move out of the district. Unless you want lost your man to a mentally ill ginger pygmy with eyes like a bushbaby."

"Shuester! Well played, sir. I underestimated you. Alright, heres what happens now. Im gonna head on down to my condo in boca, brown up a bit, get myself into fighting shape - then Im gonna return to this school even more hellbent on your destruction. Get ready for the ride of your life, Will Shuester; you are about to board the Sue Sylvester express. Destination: HORROR!"


"I will go to the animal shelter and get you a kitty cat. I will let you fall in love with that kitty cat; and then on some dark cold night, I will steal away into your home, and punch you in the face."

"When Sandy said that he wanted to write himself in as Cleopatra, I was aroused, then furious."

"Well of course you didn't Will. You wouldn't even know if your Glee Club was using your office to breed rabbit for pets or for food. You know why? You're too busy chasing tail and loading your hair was enormous amounts of product. I mean today it just looks like you put lard in it."


"You'll be adding revenge to the long list of things you're no good at, right next to being married, running a high school glee club and finding a hairstyle that doesn't look like a lesbian."

"If I have a pregnant girl doing a handspring into a double layout, the judges aren't going to be admiring her impeccable form, they're going to be wondering if the centrifugal force is going to make the baby's head start crowning."


"I, for one, think intimacy has no place in a marriage. Walked in on my parents once and it was like seeing two walruses wrestling."

"I'll often yell at homeless people: 'Hey, how is that homelessness working out for you? Try not being homeless for once.'" "Are these your droopy white granny panties, Jacob? Are you an Eve who was born a Steve? Because if you are, I think there’s a special school that would better address your needs. And I think that school is in Thailand."

Do you have any favourite Sue Sylvester moments?

love & kisses

Mrs M x