....or so said a wise woman, certainly one a lot wiser than me.
Do you ever get the feeling you're getting lost? Just stumbling through life with no direction? Because I do and I've been feeling it for a while but I don't know how to overcome it.
Recently I can't help but feel something is missing from my life.
Don't get me wrong I am happy, very happy. I am fortunate enough to have a wonderful, supportive husband, two beautiful children, a lovely home, financial security and we have a really joyful family life, spending lots of time with our children and going on great adventures - that side is pretty much perfect. On the other hand, I have a job that whilst I don't really hate as such gives me no satisfaction, intellectual stimulation or feels of any value. My job will always be the crappy job it is - there are no career prospects for me here and I am unqualified to do anything else. After having my children, and returning to the same place of employment I was pretty much sidelined. I'd leave if I could but in all honesty I am overpaid with amazing perks and whilst I know that's not the be all and end all, the good things we enjoy like trips to Florida for the children would probably have to stop. It would be a lot to give up.
I guess I just feel that I am not moving forward in life. Fast-forward the clock by about 10 years and I wonder how different my life will be. It frightens me to think that it may not have changed at all. There's a sense of underachievement all the time. I want to achieve more, I want to do more, I want to be proud of myself, but I'm not. Time is marching on and I appear to be standing still. Part of the problem is that I don't even know what it is I want to achieve. I've never had a skill or a talent and I just feel like an incredibly boring person.
I'm losing my way with my blog too. I no longer have the words, I don't know what I want to talk about and am just feeling a bit meh with everything at the moment. When I write a long, detailed or heartfelt post it doesn't really get any reaction or comment so there's that feeling that I'm just talking to myself and it's hard to muster up the enthusiasm to write. Of course, I don't just blog for others but we wouldn't be human if we didn't feel like we needed some form of validation from time to time.
Apologies for the maudlin post. I'm okay really but I just need help in rediscovering my mojo - I know it's in there somewhere.