Sure, no crowd surfing but please, feel free to pee wherever you like, don't use a bin under any circumstance and take as many drugs as you can handle.
Or that's what I think the sign should have said.
Yes, at the weekend I went to V Festival for the first time and clearly I am too old for such shenanigans! It was an eye-opener let me tell you. I guess in fairness, I'm probably knocking on 15 years older than most of the clientele but let me ask you, please, since when did being young excuse you for being an utter cretin? I'm honestly not surprised at men peeing up the sides of event tents, inside the event tents, up the sides of bins, in the crowds into cups etc. You know, I expect that. When, however, did it become acceptable for girls to drop their knickers, crouch down and pee on the grass - in front of everyone, in broad daylight? (This video will sum it up for you).
I realise I'm adjusting my cardi somewhat but honestly? I got up to all kinds of scrapes as a teenager but I still had some dignity. Even worse some of these women were older than me! Now I know festival toilets get some bad press but they were plentiful and rather clean (way cleaner and fresher smelling than Camp Bestival that's for sure) so there really was no need to hitch your skirt up and pee next to someone eating their chips. And as for the peeing-in-cups-and-throwing-it-over-the-crowd malarky, don't get me started.
Anyway, the music? Yes, the music was good! I enjoyed it very much. We saw Stooshe, Rita Ora, DJ Fresh, Madness, Tom Jones, Frank Turner, Tinie Tempah, Snow Patrol and The Killers and they were all pretty incredible.
This was a highlight. The Killers were awesome as usual and well worth the wait and torture of the day.
So summing up - the music was ace but V Festival itself? Grubby place, grubby people. I've never seen so much mess and litter. There was also too much drug-taking going on in the open for all to see. People were completely off their faces on drugs and alcohol and it wasn't pretty. I felt like I needed about 3 showers when I got home just to get the ick off me.
From now on, if it doesn't feature Mr Tumble or The Gruffalo, I ain't going.