Monday, 8 May 2006

It's all about me...

I apologise in advance for bringing you down with my post today. I am feeling in a rather down and dreary mood after a shopping trip to Bullring in Birmingham. Yes, I know Birmingham has that effect on most people but today it was more about the actual shopping and not just the fact I was in Birmingham.

The lovely Mr M kindly took me shopping today as currently my wardrobe consists of maternity clothes (yup, still) one pair of jeans, a couple of tops on strict rotation and a few pairs of pj's. It is therefore very clear that it needs some updating/additions. So how much did I come back with - well to be precise nothing! Absolutely zilch.

I was so upset when I came back from shopping, really fed up that I have wasted a whole damn day. I just dont know what suits me anymore and things I think I like Mr M always thinks I am joking and tells me that he would pee himself laughing if I cam downstairs wearing it (very helpful dear), so it knocks me a bit but I know he doesn't really mean to be horrible, he's just being honest.

I went into Next which could make even a supermodel feel frumpy, Debenhams, Monsoon and Zara but everything was either way too dressy/floaty - not practical when you spend most days covered from top to toe in baby vomit, baby poo or baby snot or else the clothes made me feel about 40 years old. So I tried Topshop, River Island, Oasis, Warehouse, Selfridges and it was hard to see anything that looked half decent or anything that wouldn't make me look like the missing member of Girls Aloud.

As I have pointed out before I am small (5ft2) and therefore lots of clothes look awful on me, shopping for jeans, trousers and dresses is something I have to summon up incredible strength and energy for as most of the time I look like I have nicked them off a lankier big sister.

I am afraid it doesn't end there either - I guess the failed shopping expedition has really hammered home to me how I feel about myself. I am really unhappy with my appearance. I feel fat, frumpy, ugly, unkempt and I wish I could just feel more glamourous and presentable.

I am short, have bad hair - I always go to the hairdressers and am never brave enough to get something daring so have had the same hairstyle since I was about 17, have suffered from bad skin all over since coming off the pill and being pregnant (I feel like I am going through puberty again), my hair is dropping out left right and centre, I have a horrible flabby belly and there really isn't a single aspect that I like anymore.

GAH. What a whinge. I think I should go to bed and hopefully wake up in a better mood. Or else, there is nothing else for it, I am going to need industrial help - I am going to need.........TRINNY AND SUSANNAH!